Thoughts on Gratification

Marty commented on my previous post that instant gratification is nice, and I've been thinking about degrees of gratification and sources of gratification.

Seems to me that simply working hard toward a goal isn't particularly gratifying, even though you know you are getting somewhere. Of course if you like the work and enjoy the process, then every step of the way can be satisfying. To my mind, though, it's especially nice to reach a level of completion when you can cross the job off a list. I'm a dedicated list-maker, and can find joy in simply crossing things off.

Even better, though, is being able to see the fruits of your labors. It can be a finalized report, all crisp and perfect. It can be a freshly painted room that turns out the exact color you were looking for. It can be the finalized clutch replacement on your Audi ;) It occurs to me that these things are special because they can be noticed and shared and appreciated, which leads me to the realization that all of us need attention and need to be acknowledged, some of us more than others.

There are skabillions of other little and large "jobs" we do every day. Cleaning house and doing dishes and cooking meals might be gratifying for a while, certainly when we are first on our own and in our first apartment or house or condo. It doesn't take long for that kind of work to become ordinary and tedious, though, partly because it is so repetitive, but perhaps more because it isn't noticed. Why a person needs to be continuously thanked and praised and respected for this kind of work is a mystery... but there it is... ask any housewife or clerk or factory worker.

Being able to prove our abilities to someone, to show what it is that we can do particularly well, is also very satisfying... but that wears thin, too. When we start a new job it is important to please the new boss, to learn quickly and to perform well. If we are noticed as an asset to the organization, that recognition becomes a stimulus to even better performance. However, in my experience it never fails that any new job quickly becomes "same old, same old", the recognition we crave isn't forthcoming, and the job becomes a source of dissatisfaction rather than gratification.

There is one "job" that seldom fails to please. Women have exclusive ownership of this experience and that is... having a baby! Nine months to enjoy the process, to get lots of attention, and finally to produce clearly visible "fruits of their labor" (sorry, I just had to get that in :) Parents share the job of rearing a child and can create a mutual admiration society as they watch the physical, mental and emotional development of that child. Gratification never ceases for parents who have children who grow into loving adults.

I guess each of us just has to pick and choose our own goals in such a way that they have the possibility of providing a feeling of personal success. Life is so full of changes along the way that our list of things to do alters as well, as do the sources and degrees of our joy.

Right now I am cleaning up my yard, selecting one ten-square-foot area at a time, and enjoying both the process and the completion. My life hasn't always been this simple, and I derive satisfaction out of realizing that, too.