Save or Share or Sell? Keep or Give Away or Toss?

We’ve all asked ourselves these questions many times as we move from one residence to another, clean out a closet, straighten a drawer, remodel a room. All those big and little items challenge us to the point that we may feel our values and priorities are in question.

What does it mean if we haphazardly toss out what we think of as junk? On the other hand, what does it mean if we have a need to save all our “stuff”? or even some, or most of it? Are we being selfish in both cases?

“I’m tossing it just because I want to, I don’t need it anymore, and I'm sure no one else wants it”(when there is every likelihood that someone else not only wants it, but could make good use of it, or even actually needs it… and then there’s the greater good of recycling rather than trashing, and the knowledge that we should help, empathize, and share with our fellow human beings).
--or--
“I’m saving it just because I want to, I might need it/use it later on, and my kids might want it sometime”(when you know it’s just taking up space, that the possibility of using it was originally a “toss” option so you probably will neither need nor use it, ever, and the idea of your kids wanting your junk is silly because they already have enough junk of their own).

Yes, there are elements of selfishness in both cases, which makes a person want to avoid ever accumulating anything for fear of having to make a decision about some worldly good (or assumed “good”... at least at one time... for a while anyway). What a dilemma.

Some folks are just packrats by nature, and generally we consider that amusing and quaint… after all, what harm are they doing? Others seem to be naturally spartan. Their homes are decorated in minimalist fashion, and usually clean. Their cupboards and closets are nearly bare by ordinary standards, and we think that’s kind of weird, but again, what harm are they doing?

Do we judge people’s values and priorities by the amount of stuff they surround themselves with? Well, yes, unfortunately some of us find all kinds of reasons to judge others. When you come right down to it, though, who cares? How important can it be? It’s your stuff, after all!

Thoughts on Gratification

Marty commented on my previous post that instant gratification is nice, and I've been thinking about degrees of gratification and sources of gratification.

Seems to me that simply working hard toward a goal isn't particularly gratifying, even though you know you are getting somewhere. Of course if you like the work and enjoy the process, then every step of the way can be satisfying. To my mind, though, it's especially nice to reach a level of completion when you can cross the job off a list. I'm a dedicated list-maker, and can find joy in simply crossing things off.

Even better, though, is being able to see the fruits of your labors. It can be a finalized report, all crisp and perfect. It can be a freshly painted room that turns out the exact color you were looking for. It can be the finalized clutch replacement on your Audi ;) It occurs to me that these things are special because they can be noticed and shared and appreciated, which leads me to the realization that all of us need attention and need to be acknowledged, some of us more than others.

There are skabillions of other little and large "jobs" we do every day. Cleaning house and doing dishes and cooking meals might be gratifying for a while, certainly when we are first on our own and in our first apartment or house or condo. It doesn't take long for that kind of work to become ordinary and tedious, though, partly because it is so repetitive, but perhaps more because it isn't noticed. Why a person needs to be continuously thanked and praised and respected for this kind of work is a mystery... but there it is... ask any housewife or clerk or factory worker.

Being able to prove our abilities to someone, to show what it is that we can do particularly well, is also very satisfying... but that wears thin, too. When we start a new job it is important to please the new boss, to learn quickly and to perform well. If we are noticed as an asset to the organization, that recognition becomes a stimulus to even better performance. However, in my experience it never fails that any new job quickly becomes "same old, same old", the recognition we crave isn't forthcoming, and the job becomes a source of dissatisfaction rather than gratification.

There is one "job" that seldom fails to please. Women have exclusive ownership of this experience and that is... having a baby! Nine months to enjoy the process, to get lots of attention, and finally to produce clearly visible "fruits of their labor" (sorry, I just had to get that in :) Parents share the job of rearing a child and can create a mutual admiration society as they watch the physical, mental and emotional development of that child. Gratification never ceases for parents who have children who grow into loving adults.

I guess each of us just has to pick and choose our own goals in such a way that they have the possibility of providing a feeling of personal success. Life is so full of changes along the way that our list of things to do alters as well, as do the sources and degrees of our joy.

Right now I am cleaning up my yard, selecting one ten-square-foot area at a time, and enjoying both the process and the completion. My life hasn't always been this simple, and I derive satisfaction out of realizing that, too.

Spring has sprung; the work's begun

My first day outside enjoying the sunshine found me happily at "work" in the wannabe landscaped area in front of the house. I found some of the first tiny spring flowers as well as one of the very messy areas that needed cleaning up. So, here you have the before and after pictures, taken an hour and a half apart. Yup, took that long to cut down the grasses in the back next to the house, trim the shrubs, pick all last fall's leaves out of the bushes, and finally get all the leaves cleaned up off the ground. It was so much fun I think I'll try it again tomorrow! Now all I have to do is decide which area to tackle next.

Waiting for Spring

Sunshine today and it looks lovely... looking out the window from inside, that is. In reality, it is windy and below freezing, so it's not really very pleasant out there. I did go out with an armload of recyclables and sorted them into the bins on our back patio, but scurried right back in. However, I did hear my crocus and daffodils and tulips pushing up from underground, eager to fill my world with color. The first few ladybugs and ants have made their way into the house, so Spring can't be far behind! Things are about to change in a big way.

The whole political climate is changing, too. Can you believe how much our new president has accomplished in only 39 days? That's one high energy fella, and regardless of a person's affiliation, everyone has to admire his commitment to change and his sustained determination. I can't help but think he is going to drag a whole lot of people along with him, perhaps even some who are kicking and screaming right now, and that many things are going to be very different. Enough politics...

While I wait for Spring I am reading and knitting and cooking, watching Netflix movies, exercising on my elliptical, organizing stuff around the house and in my computer. I've also taken on a volunteer editing job with Kiva, an organization that manages small loans to entrepreneurs around the world. I enjoy the editing part, but more importantly I like getting a glimpse into other countries, the families and the individuals, and I like the idea that they are trying so hard to improve their lives, and that they are getting help and being encouraged to change things for the better. It's the immediate and very personal glimpse of possibilities that engages me the most... and certainly a valuable and satisfactory way to spend my time.

So, I try not to be impatient with Old Man Winter, and to remember that the world keeps turning and that "to everything there is a season".