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It was probably older son Marty who sent along a fascinating study about how many times people (bloggers in particular?) use personal pronouns, referring to themselves rather than to others or to places, things, ideas and so on. It has made me self-conscious about all communication, not only blogging but talking as well. It also reminded me of the unfortunate day when my mother said (not knowing it would stay with me forever) that I was the most selfish person she had ever known. Ouch. Once during grade school one of the good nuns saw something in me that prompted her to require me to write 100 times, "Jesus meek and humble of heart, make my heart like unto thine." Ouch again. My apparent lack of humility was solidified when a friend told me that "it was always about me". Triple ouch.
So okay, I'm old enough and strong enough to start denying the power those comments had over me. After all, my blog is supposed to be about me, right? Right. The assumption that anyone even reads my blog or that they might give a hoot is selfish in itself. I think I've probably spent much of my life trying to be accommodating and self-effacing and humble in order to live down what felt like others' bad opinions of me.... and probably it's time to stop doing that.
I just counted 20 personal pronouns in this post. Oh, well. ;)
Nov 11, 2008
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What? Huh? Did somebody same my name?
ReplyDeleteThere are many conflicts to sort through regarding selfishness. Children are taught to "share." In sports it's all about the "team." In marriage, couples are taught to nurture "the relationship." At the same time, children are singled out in school and judged on individual performance. An athlete is rewarded as the most valuable player. Successful marriages often depend on individual strength.
Well, when is it all about me? Should it ever be? When I read of Michael Chrichton's death, I ran across an old article he wrote for - ahem - Redbook in 1991. His message is you'll not find happiness living your life trying to make yourself happy. "Make the world a better place and you make your life worth while. Make your life worth while and you'll be happy. You don't need to buy anything or ask anybody for advice. You can just go do it."
Strangely enough I have not observed you to be selfish (maybe I'm blind to it because we are so alike in that respect?).
Self-ish but not self-assured is a strange mix isn't it? We know we're right but nevertheless we desperately need affirmation. Feeling good about ourselves but sensitive to what others say and might think of us. Just a little more conflict to sort through, right? Easy!